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Alba Lange

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Post-It to Stan

Stan,


The scones you baked were inappropriately dry. We couldn’t swallow them because the coffee machine is out of function.
It made the meeting tremendously awkward and unproductive.

Please come in to my office when you see this.

Kindly
Boss

Uncured by Your Motivational Quote

The Pancake Hat will go well with your moods

You Become What You Hide in for Too Long

Note From the Staff

If you have lost all ambition and lost all your dreams,

please contact our staff and we will give you stuff to buy

Useful Text Message to Ypsilon

Dear Ypsilon,

I find that it is appropriate for you hear it, at last, from someone. I have taken the role of this someone.
I will cut straight to it.

Ypsilon, you see - There is a lot in this world that you are gonna have no use for. You will spend endless hours on it - or, well, not exactly endless - You will spend long hours on it. Or, well, the hours will always be the same duration, right. The hours don’t care about you. The hours won’t get longer just because you are bored. But they’re gonna feel long, because you’re gonna be thinking “I’m will have no use for this”. And you know what Ypsilon - you’re right. You won’t. But what kind of person does only useful things? Why should we want to? What will you finally do with all your useful stuff and experiences? Huh? Who’s setting the rules for what’s useful? What’s it all for, in the end? What’s the use? What’s the point?

Anyway. Did you take the trash out?

Best regards

Citizens of Tumblr,

Life Advice #320138

How to Appear to Be More Polite

Never frown back at fishes. You don’t know whether or not they have feelings, but you want to be on the safe side.

Practice

The Anti-climax of Kate

A woman with an advanced hair cut came to judge students at the Ballet Academy, and Kate had an audition. She didn’t pass. Then came another advance-haired judge. And another. And another. And another. And another. Until one day, another judge came, and again, she didn’t pass.

Milton’s Job Application

Name: Milton
Position: Plumber

Why are you applying for the position?
I’d like to become a better plumber. I don’t know anything about plumbing, but I really like the word. Plumbing. I have great respect for plumbers. They fix things, you know. I wanna fix things too.

What are your strengths?

I whistle. I get that vibrato, you know. It sounds pricey, but scary. Good whistlers are terrifying. I mean, perfectly adequate people - they can hold a conversation, make a pun. And then there’s this social interval and they start whistling. And it’s not blowy. It’s pure. It’s a studio kind of whistle. How many conversation breaks have they spent whistling to achieve that? Frightening.

What are your weaknesses?

I get confused, you know. You wake up thinking the world is one way, and you get to work and someone moved your toolbox. And you start thinking about those small differences, right. I gotta stop and think.

Also, I can’t really separate brown and green. My vision, right. It’s all brown. So summer isn’t very different from autumn. And I don’t know if bananas are early or late.



What do you want to improve?

I wanna improve my spelling on certain words. “Turquoise”, that’s a tough one. Or “Nietzsche”, I always think twice at that one. And “conscious”, it looks wrong to me.



- Milton
Available Tuesday nights and Christmas Eve

Feed them their heads and see them starve

For the film “Tills döden för oss samman”.

For the film “Tills döden för oss samman”.

For the film “Tills döden för oss samman”.